Resources for Partners of Sex Addicts
The Traumatic Nature of Disclosure for Wives of Sexual Addicts (study)
By Barbara Steffens, Ph.D, LPCC Robyn Rennie
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
By Barbara Steffens, Ph.D., LPCC, Marsha Means
Sexual addictions and compulsive sexual behavior are growing societal problems, with as many as three to six percent of the world population affected. Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. Partners of Sex Addicts receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens’ groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means’ personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal Partners of Sex Addictss. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors’ lives. Chapters end with “On a Personal Note” questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy for the Partners of Sex Addicts.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
By John Gottman, Ph.D., Nan Silver
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life’s work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence-from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
By Judith Herman, M.D.
When Trauma and Recovery was first published in 1992, it was hailed as a groundbreaking work. In the intervening years, Herman’s volume has changed the way we think about and treat traumatic events and trauma victims. In a new afterword, Herman chronicles the incredible response the book has elicited and explains how the issues surrounding the topic have shifted within the clinical community and the culture at large. Trauma and Recovery brings a new level of understanding to a set of problems usually considered individually. Herman draws on her own cutting-edge research in domestic violence as well as on the vast literature of combat veterans and victims of political terror, to show the parallels between private terrors such as rape and public traumas such as terrorism. The book puts individual experience in a broader political frame, arguing that psychological trauma can be understood only in a social context. Meticulously documented and frequently using the victims’ own words as well as those from classic literary works and prison diaries, Trauma and Recovery is a powerful work that will continue to profoundly impact our thinking.
Waking the Tiger : Healing Trauma : The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences
By Peter Levine, Ann Frederick
Waking the Tiger offers a new and hopeful vision of trauma. It views the human animal as a unique being, endowed with an instinctual capacity. It asks and answers an intriguing question: why are animals in the wild, though threatened routinely, rarely traumatized? By understanding the dynamics that make wild animals virtually immune to traumatic symptoms, the mystery of human trauma is revealed. Waking the Tiger normalizes the symptoms of trauma and the steps needed to heal them. People are often traumatized by seemingly ordinary experiences. The reader is taken on a guided tour of the subtle, yet powerful impulses that govern our responses to overwhelming life events. To do this, it employs a series of exercises that help us focus on bodily sensations. Through heightened awareness of these sensations trauma can be healed.
Emotional Safety: Viewing Couples Through the Lens of Affect
By Don Catherall
Emotional Safety is designed to help couple therapists identify and conceptualize the problems of their clients and to provide solutions, focusing on the two central elements of emotion and attachment. Problems occur in relationships when the partners no longer feel safe being open and vulnerable with each other. Emotional Safety: Viewing Couples Through the Lens of Affect enables couple therapists to recognize and articulate the emotional subtext of their clients’ interactions. The emotional safety model is based on modern affect theory and focuses on the affective tone of messages in the areas of attachment and esteem. The model allows therapists to address the subtle interplay of perceived threat and emotional reaction which underlies their clients’ difficulties and disrupts emotional safety.
Coping With Trauma: Hope Through Understanding
By Jon Allen, Ph.D.
Combining years of research, teaching, and experience treating trauma survivors, Dr. Jon G. Allen offers compassionate and practical guidance to understanding trauma and its effects on the self and relationships. Coping With Trauma is based on more than a decade of Dr. Allen’s experience conducting educational groups for persons struggling with psychiatric disorders stemming from trauma. Written for a general audience, this book does not require a background in psychology. Readers will gain essential knowledge to embark on the process of healing from the complex wounds of trauma, along with a guide to current treatment approaches. In this supportive and informative work, readers will be introduced to and encouraged in the process of healing by an author who is both witness and guide. This clearly written, insightful book not only teaches clinicians about trauma but also, equally important, teaches clinicians how to educate their patients about trauma. Reshaped by recent developments in attachment theory, including the importance of cumulative stress over a lifetime, this compelling work retains the author’s initial focus on attachment as he looks at trauma from two perspectives.
How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage To Forgive, the Freedom Not To
By Janis A. Spring, Ph.D.
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:
- How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?
- When is forgiveness cheap?
- What is wrong with refusing to forgive?
- How can the offender earn forgiveness?
- How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?
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